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People always told me that I am a cheerful person, who always laugh so loudly and play so hardly. I feel queer when I was told so because it’s true but not absolutely true. And then many many times, people told me I don’t have be tough and pretentious when I am upset, it’s not necessary for me to laugh all the time. Every time I feel very uncomfortable when I heard about it, but I don’t know how to explain to them that I never tried to use laughters to cover my sadness.
I smile tonight, because I finally found an explanation form Tea that I can use next time when people ask me.
Quote from Esther’s xanga:
I asked him ‘Tea, don’t you ever get tired of smiling?’
‘Sometimes’ he told me ‘sometimes I am in no mood to smile, sometimes making myself smile is tiring. But it is so much easier to smile around people than having to explain a reason for not smiling’
So I asked him ’But you don’t have to pretend with me, you don’t have to smile all the time when I’m around!’
And he said ‘well, sometimes I don’t smile, you just don’t notice’.
Well, sometimes I don’t smile, you just don’t notice.
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